This world is full of contradicting viewpoints. Warring perspectives. Noise. And it often feels like its hard to breath in the midst of this chaos.
My theme this month, my goal, was to try and gorw in discerning the truth; breathing the truth, living the truth, believing and abiding in the truth. And as always, the Lord has probably taught me more than I know.
Here’s what I read in the Word this month:
- Isaiah 34-65
- Titus
- Mark 2:1-17
Through my time with the Lord, my experiences, and the ways in which His mighty power has moved within me, I have learned something, I’m sure. Now to discover what exactly that is.
***
10/2: “Truly, as much as my overthinking and daily stresses feel like the ultimatum, they aren’t. Your strength and redemption, Your love poured out to make me whole again, is what makes pushing on and working hard and building relationship worth it. Keep me focused with the right perspective, no matter what. So long as You are in heaven, the world will keep turning.”
10/4: “You define truth. You ask command that Your children hold fast to the truth and uphold it in a way above reproach. Honestly, I haven’t had an elite Bible education and often don’t desire digging into Your Word to fully understand the truth. Thank you for training me to live a godly life. Lord, help me take the time to really dig into Scripture to build a good foundation of truth in my life.”
10/14: “Today, I was selfish. I was focused on what I wanted and what would make me feel good. The curse of western culture… Lord, help me step outside of myself more nowadays, and to not obsess over my own looks or desires. I’ve catered to the noise far too much. Now direct my mind to Your words. Help me desire Your wisdom.
I doubt what You can do not only through big steps of courage but also smaller shows of faith and decisions to be vulnerable. The things I turn to in order to numb my fear, which I try to excuse as productivity, cannot bear the heavy burdens of purpose the world claims they can. I want to think, not blindly accept every perspective as truth. Help me seek Your Word as truth and the fount of wisdom. I’m sorry for so often running towards emotional satisfaction rather than pursuing the life You freed me to live.”
10/15: “In so many ways I am more like Babylon than Israel. I love pleasure and comfort and I rest in a false sense of security. What I think is wise can often truly be a lie meant to keep me from action. I am powerless to defeat such deceptions on my own. Lord, help me.”
10/18: “I am so insecure tonight. I’m sorry for doubting how You made me. I know I’m not alone and that a lot of people struggle with this, but I don’t like that I struggle with this. Lord, help me break free from the walls I set for myself. I’m flying blind, trying to follow the way as best as I know how… and though my efforts suck, I know that Your strength makes all things possible.
You know what? I’ve been listening to the wrong voices. You ask me to listen to You, not the lies of the enemy. Help me deny myself and instead take up my cross and follow You, through thick or thin, smooth or rough, up or down.”
10/27: “As a creative, my writing relies a lot on emotion and empathy.
Don’t let those rule me.
Help me become more disciplined. Help me prioritize what is most important to me. I recognize this is an uphill battle… please help me stay on the right side. I want to be active and embrace Your action in me, not passive.
Lord, I have to step up and fully understand the gravity of choosing whether or not I want to glorify You and shine Your light. Help my mind acknowledge Your way as freedom, not bondage. Joy, not regret. You promise to give purpose to the lives who seek it; even the smallest.”
10/28: “You hem me in, behind and before [Psalm 139:5]. This world is messy, but You are holding me. Deep in the depths of Your heart, thrumming with love and grace and beauty, You hold me. Hallelujah. I don’t want to be weak. Fortify me, Lord, so I remember my worth.”
10/29: “Lord, tonight I am reminded afresh of how You treasure me. I am sought out as Your delight. I am Your reward and portion, Your lovely creation who You beg to believe these truth. How incredible. I’m also realizing that even as I am slowly believing these truths, You also call me to prepare the way for others to know them. I am to build up the highway and lift up a signal declaring Your salvation, love, and pursuit.
Lord, help me make the truth clear, and to be bold in proclaiming this.”
***
What I’ve seen throughout these journal entries is my desperate attempts to escape the trap of allowing my feelings to rule me.
In this world, and even within modern Christian culture, it is easy to crumble beneath this tension between conviction, truth, and emotions. The authority and reality of our feelings can attempt to overwhelm and drown out the Voice of truth trying to disprove lies. But all the same, that makes it all the more important for us to fight off such a usurper and restore the Word back to its rightful position.
Friend, if your emotions are overwhelming you today, rest in this: our feelings do not define truth. No matter how you may feel, that does not define what is true, right, or worth listening to.
So take a moment, let yourself unwind, and remember what you know to be true. Remember the faithfulness of God. Remember His love… and believe. Continue.
Abide.
Breathe.
What is true has been determined. Now you just have to remember; the Lord will take care of the rest.
***
Thanks so much for reading! In other news, I’m planning to join the author community in doing NaNoWriMo. At the time this article is published, I am a few days in – and it feels so good to be writing an imperfect draft of original work again after so long of not doing so!
As far as November’s theme goes, I’m not sure quite what I’m planning yet – my brain is simply spinning from busyness! But something will come up, I’m sure.
With that, I say thanks again and adieu; happy Thursday friends 🙂
Graceful Authenticity 